An empty canvas, an empty page

White, clean and empty it was, was a long time ago
When I started, undecided of the first brush stroke, the first word
A palate full of colours, a mind full of words
Ready but not clear, wanting but not certain
Of the woman I wanted to paint, of her story I wanted to write
I sat staring into the darkest point on the all white canvas,
Moments passed, my head ached, ice melted, ash collected
The first stroke never arrived, my first word never appeared

It was a beautiful high-rise, a balcony with a view
My chair settled nicely into the corner, and there was a lake across the road
Sprits to give company, to raise me above mortals
The idea, you see, is to be alone, and loneliness springs up beauties
The walls were painted imaginatively, the slow music played inspiringly
The setting sun enhancing the mood, the palate on the sky offering colours
Moments passed, my head ached, ice melted, ash collected
But yet, the first stroke never arrived, my first word never appeared

Then I gave up on my vision, thought she left me for better men
Folded up the canvas, tore up the pages
Emptied my glass, and stormed out of my world
Across the road, by the lake, there is a small little market
Little it may be, but crowded it always was
I walked up to the tea stall, traded steam for spirit
Among the people, into the crowd, on to a nearby rock
I settled in, dejected at being cheated, abandoned and discarded

Dark, dirty and cluttered it was, a few moments ago
When I cried, in agony, pain and exhaustion of forcing creation
I still was alone for sure, but amidst a maddening crowd
Among people, faces passing by, some smiling, some grim, some cruel
My woman somewhere lurking around the corner, her beauty to be discovered
My canvas, my page found purpose, they set out looking, calmly searching
My brush, my pen waited patiently, for her to come, no inspiration, no imagination
She would come, and fall into my arms, I knew

Moments have passed, my head does ache,
But the bitter sweetness of this wait keeps me going!

Dannie John
15-Jan-2011