Disjointed Unions

By the window,
I wish I could have seen her once; just once before she went up in flames
Exploding herself, the ones she opposed, also the ones she defended
For herself this is, she claimed in the many letters she wrote to me
For her beliefs, principles; but what it turned out to be, I asked
The answer was silence, no more letters, and a period of void
Then finally blood and flesh scattering on to the same land she loved, I loved!
Sitting there at the window, looking out into passing frames, gaze fixed nowhere,
I was awaiting those letters from nowhere, in my own sweet world

By the door,
This one cannot hear, neither can see, nor talk; I heard them say about Ramu just before we met
He was sitting in a corner by the Ganges, on the steps that lead to eternal salvation; I was walking down hoping to cleanse myself
Of all the sins my profession earned me; pleasure they had said, I was seeking, but some bread for dinner was all I wanted
I was going to die, my doctor had told me, better die at the Ghats he advised; so here I was waiting for the end, but it finally seemed life had begun
when Ramu touched me for the first time the other day; He could not see me, nor hear me; it was through touch that he told me he loved me,
It was when he held me, caressed my forehead, hugged me, and cried out when I died, I finally lived;
The train chugged along nicely, as Ramu alighted carrying in his heart a lifetime of joy;
For he finally could see someone, hear someone and whisper to someone

There she sits,
As the train kept chugging along, I noticed her for the first time in twelve hours
I was bemused, but surprised why my eyes did not catch the sight before
Stunning she looked, but made up, wholly; why would someone be me, I thought
I was running away from me, thought being born this way was a curse, hoped I could have been a boy
A few stations later, she said to me, it feels good to be a woman, liberated to be finally what I am;
And I thought to myself, how strange is this world; that one’s God is another one’s Devil
We got down together before our destination came; walking out into the world, liberated from chains,
Chasing our Gods, and devils; dancing to the tune set by the wind, in our own sweet worlds

One who was sitting in my place,
I was searching for myself in all the stories I wrote, all these years, until this day
I am the one without roots, born somewhere, grew somewhere, fell in love somewhere, lived someplace else, and finally died somewhere
Nomadic spirit, with no strings, the one who lived under many skins as it suited
The one by the window left me wanting
The one by the door left me crying
But I escaped reality with the one like me, the one I fell in love with
And we set out,
Chasing our Gods, and devils; dancing to the tune set by the wind, into our own sweet worlds

Dannie John
15-Jan-2011