I am back...

Recalling my Chennai experience from the last week...On Sunday, 28th Aug, I had traveled to Chennai. On my!

This one has made me love Bangalore many times over. With all the Traffic Jams, Regardless of the long waiting periods on the road...Pollution... Auto drivers... oh did I say Auto Drivers.... I should call the ones in Bangalore Saints...Any one who disagrees, please visit Chennai... Bangalore ....I love this place...

Ok... Now for the experience.....Let me start with the previous night...Sat 27th Aug...Two of my dad's friends had come to Bangalore....central Kerala Christians being Central Kerala Christians... the first and the last thing they wanted to see in Bangalore were its Pubs....(for a small comparison here... We get good stuff here. Unlimited Kingfisher... Bacardi.....and so unlike Chennai were if we need to have a decent night out with some stuff you have heard of... We need to visit some star place). So I take them to the one on Garuda Mall… the idea being they can do some shopping and then probably settle into one of those comfy cushions in SOS.

We enter SOS and the music hit us on our face…My guests freaked out….The next 1 hour was ordeal for them. And for me trying to explain and make Metal look like slightly loud and high pitched variation of Hindustani …LOL…. Funda, I do not have a choice... Need to save the night.

Then I took them to Mojos on residency road ….they played softer music... But still was loud. This was the first time I realized how loud the music can be in a Pub…Usually when I am out with pals we are almost drunk even before we reach the pub, probably the reason why this loud seemed quite to be soft…

OK.. I am drifting off topic… the end result of the night was that I was significantly drunk…and end up sleeping at 1am. That is ok if you get to sleep till at least 9:00 am the following day. But I had to get up at 5 in the morning and push my still drunk brain and sleepy body to almost run to Cant to catch the Lalbagh. Only one thing stops us from going to Chennai…. Train tickets…

When we reached Cant…the queue for open ticket is already reached outside the station building. We can wait…but one problem there is just 2 minutes for the train to reach. And God walks up in the form of a coolie and offers us tickets to Chennai…but for a little profit…Rs 10
On each ticket…hmmm not a bad deal….we grab the tickets and run towards the platform.

When the train came… we were incidentally standing near the AC Chair Car… and I see god standing with a black coat on…I request him to convert our 2nd sitting tickets to AC.. And he obliges but again for a small profit…Rs 20 per ticket…Hmm improvement…

Anyways we reach Chennai comfortably and walk out of the station all ready to enjoy the day ahead... or we thought so.

Man, how can any place be this hot, humid…I kept joking to my fellow travelers that our bodies have actually turned to salt manufacturing machine… How sick….

In fact, we had come here to attend a close friend’s engagement ceremony…Which is in a place called Nanganallur... Somewhere near Mount.

So we catch a Suburban train and go to Mount and find a hotel to relax. We are dressed formally and I am wearing a Formal Kurtha-Pyjama. When we reached the mandap (after some bargain, verbal Kungfu etc with the auto driver) , for my sheer astonishment I find even the would be groom in a normal Shirt and trouser….I just wanted to run away. We somehow managed to get out and run back to the coziness of our AC room.
One thing I have noticed in Chennai is that if you are not a Tamilian and cannot speak Tamil then you are gonna get royally screwed by the Auto fellows. And if you are not used to the climate, then you don’t even want to stand and bargain the hot sun….the attitude is … please take me to the nearest AC room... Ill pay whatever…

I have bath the second time in the day and come out of the bath room only to realize that the salt manufacturing machine has started work again. I start to hate this machine. Man it sticks, it stinks and you are most of the time wet. What a pathetic state to be in.

So towards the close of the day, we think of catching up with another friend and decide to meet him at Spencer plaza, my fellow traveler had a long lasting dream of coming to Chennai (I think that person has already decided never to come here again) and wanted to see Spencer’s.

We are on the road again. Scared of the bargain with Auto fellows we decide to walk a bit. We walk towards Le Meridian. After a while, we realize the folly of deciding to walk in this climatic conditions and finally giver into the temptation of stopping a passing auto.

Bargain time, Guys. We get into a verbal brawl, trying to give him some gyan of mathematics, time and distance, time and work…. Nothing works… our bodies start pushing us into a deal we very clearly know is stupid and finally we give in.

We get to Spencers from near le meridian for Rs 120. (Oh…Please don’t look like that; I am already ashamed of my spendthrift nature).

We meet Aaron near Spencers. He like the good old pals that I have, suggests that Spencers is a more kids place to hang out and takes us to Radha Park.

We are turned away from a Pub there because we were wearing sandals, Nike Sandals. Can you believe it, How much more presumptuous can we get. In a city that converts any average human being to a continuous source of sweat; a place where the most comfy clothes would be Short pants, cotton t-shirts and a decent pair of sandals, we are turned away for being logical and probably more apt; Blind followers of a long forgotten tradition of snobbish buffoonery.

Anyways we find another pub in the same place; not exactly a pub according to Bangalore standard – more like an Andhra restaurant for serving alcohol. May be this was meant for the lesser mortals like us who do not know the dressing tradition of Chennai.

What ever be the situation, we men are born to drink; the end result is that I am drunk again. And this time I have hardly anytime left for rushing to Koyembedu for boarding my bus. Unlike in the morning, this time I have been well prepared in advance with the berths reserved in a Volvo Ac Sleeper.

We reach the bus stand around 10:20 PM, 10 minutes… time enough before the departure. We exchange good wishes and bid good bye to our host. By this time I already have collected the boarding passes. And we board the bus…. I am shocked to see someone else sleeping on our berth. Ridiculous… these guys do not have any brains… I am ready to pick up a brawl once again, when the conductors of the bus start scolding us…

To my utter dismay… I realize that the ticket is meant for the following day’s travel…. How intelligent of me to be well prepared for something I do not need. I do not have a choice, the hunter is ready to become the prey and I start requesting for some berth that is empty.

I should say, the bus guys were very helpful. They asked us to take the last berth on the bus. Only one berth buy sufficiently wide for two to sleep. Good economics for them…1 berth for the payment of two. For me, an act of extreme kindness. Thanks god. Thank KPN.

After some acts of high jumps, Long jumps and somersaults all while sleeping, we have finally reached madivala.

We get down and as usual auto drivers cover us like a bunch of bees; we tell one of them the place we need to go and tell him that we will give him double the meter since it is 4:30 in the morning. He readily obliges. Oh, Auto drivers in Bangalore. I love you guys. Gentlemen with a very superior demeanor.

The climate is cool and soothing; the machine has stopped functioning. Skin has become smooth again. Guys, I am back to my normal senses.

I am finally back. Back home.

Thank God for bangalore.

Dannie John