With you

There is a creek beyond the rocks, by the beach of southern sea
I will meet you there at sunset, while the sun hasn’t yet gone down
At that moment, when our bodies reflect the intense warmth,
We become palettes, boiling in shades of red and orange
In oneness, we rejoice, we moan, we revel;
From sunset to twilight, I will love you, every day of my life

There is a gentle stream, by the fields, of corn and paddy
I will meet you there at dawn,  while it is still drizzling and the rain gods haven’t yet roared
At that moment, when our bodies get wet in the gentle breeze
We become the monsoon sky, with passion that is waiting to erupt
In an embrace, we weep, droplets dripping from eyelids, fingers clasped;
From dawn to noon, I will love you, every day of my life

Where there is dry land, after the heavy rains, maybe at home, our home
I will stay by your side, while the trees gently weep the departure of rain
At that moment, I will lay on your lap, gaze into the beauty of life outside
And we will be alone, detached from the maddening world
In a simple touch, we smile, we love, we understand;
From noon until my dusk, I will love you, every day of my life

Dannie John
3-Aug-2012

Corner of Doubt

I can see a corner not so far away 
and my heart says, beyond that is a meadow, 
where sun shines all day, and clouds shine silver; 
where I shall rise above struggle, pain and quiver. 
Beyond that corner of doubt, my eyes shall twinkle; 
It is but that peck of doubt that forces me to detour, 
And so, forever have been that corner not so far away;

Dannie John 
27 Oct 2013

Disjointed Unions

By the window,
I wish I could have seen her once; just once before she went up in flames
Exploding herself, the ones she opposed, also the ones she defended
For herself this is, she claimed in the many letters she wrote to me
For her beliefs, principles; but what it turned out to be, I asked
The answer was silence, no more letters, and a period of void
Then finally blood and flesh scattering on to the same land she loved, I loved!
Sitting there at the window, looking out into passing frames, gaze fixed nowhere,
I was awaiting those letters from nowhere, in my own sweet world

By the door,
This one cannot hear, neither can see, nor talk; I heard them say about Ramu just before we met
He was sitting in a corner by the Ganges, on the steps that lead to eternal salvation; I was walking down hoping to cleanse myself
Of all the sins my profession earned me; pleasure they had said, I was seeking, but some bread for dinner was all I wanted
I was going to die, my doctor had told me, better die at the Ghats he advised; so here I was waiting for the end, but it finally seemed life had begun
when Ramu touched me for the first time the other day; He could not see me, nor hear me; it was through touch that he told me he loved me,
It was when he held me, caressed my forehead, hugged me, and cried out when I died, I finally lived;
The train chugged along nicely, as Ramu alighted carrying in his heart a lifetime of joy;
For he finally could see someone, hear someone and whisper to someone

There she sits,
As the train kept chugging along, I noticed her for the first time in twelve hours
I was bemused, but surprised why my eyes did not catch the sight before
Stunning she looked, but made up, wholly; why would someone be me, I thought
I was running away from me, thought being born this way was a curse, hoped I could have been a boy
A few stations later, she said to me, it feels good to be a woman, liberated to be finally what I am;
And I thought to myself, how strange is this world; that one’s God is another one’s Devil
We got down together before our destination came; walking out into the world, liberated from chains,
Chasing our Gods, and devils; dancing to the tune set by the wind, in our own sweet worlds

One who was sitting in my place,
I was searching for myself in all the stories I wrote, all these years, until this day
I am the one without roots, born somewhere, grew somewhere, fell in love somewhere, lived someplace else, and finally died somewhere
Nomadic spirit, with no strings, the one who lived under many skins as it suited
The one by the window left me wanting
The one by the door left me crying
But I escaped reality with the one like me, the one I fell in love with
And we set out,
Chasing our Gods, and devils; dancing to the tune set by the wind, into our own sweet worlds

Dannie John
15-Jan-2011

I am just a colour

Why have you branded me?
Tormented my existence
What if I did not want to represent what you made me out to do?
What if I could rebel?
Pink thinks he is stronger than you make him look
Red loves peace and did you know white is more violent than most of us?
Green does not plant trees, nor blue do any work
And for me, you made me out to be the villain
While I looked beautiful, sans any pigment,
I am like anything else, as clueless as anyone else
Why did you complicate?
When I am just a colour!

Dannie John
15-Jan-2011

An empty canvas, an empty page

White, clean and empty it was, was a long time ago
When I started, undecided of the first brush stroke, the first word
A palate full of colours, a mind full of words
Ready but not clear, wanting but not certain
Of the woman I wanted to paint, of her story I wanted to write
I sat staring into the darkest point on the all white canvas,
Moments passed, my head ached, ice melted, ash collected
The first stroke never arrived, my first word never appeared

It was a beautiful high-rise, a balcony with a view
My chair settled nicely into the corner, and there was a lake across the road
Sprits to give company, to raise me above mortals
The idea, you see, is to be alone, and loneliness springs up beauties
The walls were painted imaginatively, the slow music played inspiringly
The setting sun enhancing the mood, the palate on the sky offering colours
Moments passed, my head ached, ice melted, ash collected
But yet, the first stroke never arrived, my first word never appeared

Then I gave up on my vision, thought she left me for better men
Folded up the canvas, tore up the pages
Emptied my glass, and stormed out of my world
Across the road, by the lake, there is a small little market
Little it may be, but crowded it always was
I walked up to the tea stall, traded steam for spirit
Among the people, into the crowd, on to a nearby rock
I settled in, dejected at being cheated, abandoned and discarded

Dark, dirty and cluttered it was, a few moments ago
When I cried, in agony, pain and exhaustion of forcing creation
I still was alone for sure, but amidst a maddening crowd
Among people, faces passing by, some smiling, some grim, some cruel
My woman somewhere lurking around the corner, her beauty to be discovered
My canvas, my page found purpose, they set out looking, calmly searching
My brush, my pen waited patiently, for her to come, no inspiration, no imagination
She would come, and fall into my arms, I knew

Moments have passed, my head does ache,
But the bitter sweetness of this wait keeps me going!

Dannie John
15-Jan-2011

The Hero is always someone else

So he came, crying, kicking, in tears, covered in blood
Someone cutout what kept him from coming in
Someone pushed him into the scene, wonder if he would have come eventually
Someone wiped his tears, blood and warmed him up,
While she looked on, struggling to get his eyes opened, he cried, kept crying
When did he start walking, learned to be proud, and thought of independence?
For he came assisted, will go assisted;
Someone else’s benevolence, he was pushed to being born
Some else’s kindness, he might get a respectful farewell!

Dannie John
18-May-2011

A twist to come

A rush of blood into my head
Little finger moves up a bit
Eyelids flutters just for a while
Sweat drops drip through my chin

My body shivers, shudders in pain
I am spent, my head almost droops
But a flash of light enters my thought
It shakes me up, lifts up my head
I hear a gentle voice speaketh to me
Come ‘on pal, you can’t lie low,
A man can fall, can lag, can lose
But one can’t give up, or stop the fight
For one who gives up and stops the fight
Is not worthy of being called a man
For one who gives in and lets in defeat
Had lost the plot, even before first bell
Now come ‘on pal, gather up yourself
Go back in there and bring on the best
Go on fighting up till the grave, but go on and on
Blood may ooze through sweat drops
Bones may crunch under the pressure
Muscles may give up, so may your body
But as long as hope persists
There is still a twist to come

So here I am, limping my way up
My backbone squeals as it straightens up
But once on my legs, I hold my head high
Ready for another fight, to go on all the way
Never to give up, Never to lose hope
I may be dead, but buried, not quite yet
I will not give up till the coffin’s shut
Even then, I will fight back from my grave
And come back alive to win my moment
For if there is hope, there is a twist to come

Dannie John
28th Feb 2011

Where we all belong

There is this place beyond the window rails
Beyond our daily chores, away from piles of papers
Far from the flickering screen with zeros and ones
A place we call our own, a secret dwelling or a lonely planet

Chasing images that appear on pages, or in a lovely film
Or those that zoom past us, as we stand stranded at a busy crossroad
We build it around us, in tiny fragments, bit at a time
The texture of which resembles the scarlet of a late evening
Or the dampness of those hillside holidays
The cacophony of a messy main street
Or the silence that precedes the morning sun
Light rays or dew drops, screeching horns or quietness
For each of us, our own, this place our heaven on earth
Hidden at times from even our own consciousness

Strangely though, we move in and out
Drifting between realms like gods do
To be there, and here, now and next
But for some of us,
It is to be there, that we are here
Rarely wanting to come back, to live
Oh, but for us, to live is to be there
To breathe is to die to our surroundings
Our bodies remain alive, our mind alive in our own place
Hidden at times from even our own consciousness

There is this place beyond the lives of others, or ours
This is a place where we all belong
So distinct but yet so similar
All at once, and forever

Dannie John
19-Feb-2011

Chasing Fish

Kites flying high, chasing fish in sidewalk drains
Running around the house shouting stupid slogans
Driving around a single wheel Mercedes, along the parapet of my terrace
Picking mangoes of the neighbors groves, playing mama’s boy when the sun goes down
There was never enough to do, but never any more to achieve
Never once a day that started without smiles or one that ended without tears;
But when the night fell quiet, tucked into my bed, sleep overwhelmed me like there was no morrow
Looking back mate, I would trade all of tomorrow, and most of today for one yesterday
Can you, lord, sent me back to being a child?
Someone sang, freedom’s just another word for nothing left to loose,
I say, freedom’s just another word when there is nothing left to do
Guess, setting out with a planned tomorrow, and a reviewed today, has made me far from free
Can you, lord, with an open sail, set me back on trail, to gently float to a never-ever land, today?

Exploring though the paddy fields, I came across a place
With waterfalls, and tadpole swims, some rays reflecting off
All it was, was a gentle stream, with a bund at its edge
But for my little brain, was the paradise my dad spoke of in early morning prayers
For all my days as a little boy, I kept going back
To the paradise, to this never-ever land, my secret freedom place
But now, guess, some stones have crushed my little tadpole swims
For I see a new habitation to have overwhelmed my secret land
A kid skips and hops in their courtyard, hope he finds on my behalf a new freedom place
Looking ahead mate, I guess, yester will never come back; all I do is, wait for this act to pass
Can you, lord, sent me back to being just a child?
Someone sang, freedom’s just another word for nothing left to loose,
I say, freedom’s just another word when there is no more air to breath
Guess, looking ahead, looking forward to a life of emptiness is all we do
Chasing fish within a huge glass bowl, like fools we look to God
So lord, with an open sail, set me back on trail, to gently float to a never-ever land, today?

Sitting at my balcony, staring at these kids, playing, running to nowhere
I feel happy to see someone keeping up the legacy, of being just a child
So I grow old, and leave this trail, someone picks up dust
To leave a trail for someone new, and the world just goes around
So lord, here I am, stepping out to a busy day, with plans in my head, and a destination to reach
But, promise me to pull me out, and set me back on sail, to gently float to a never-ever land
With nowhere to go, and no days to count!

Dannie John
4-Dec-2010

Live

A refugee in my own land
An orphan among my own people
When will I see the bright blue sky?
When will this rain stop?
A trickle it starts, then oozes out,
Bullets, blood and bath from above
Living through this night
Waiting for the Sun, that never comes
I have learned to dream, to hope, to live!

Dannie John
28-Oct-2010